Ego Mind - Heart Mind

By Deborah Deuel 

There has been much talk in metaphysics about the "ego". During my early studies, teachers would refer to ‘dropping the ego’. I am sure that many of you have also had difficulty with this concept. How does one drop the ego? The ego is an essential part of self. It is what distinguishes us as humans. So what do these teachers mean about dropping the ego? Many see this as dropping one’s desire, as desires can lead to greed and then control. I understood how greed and control were not necessarily ‘issues’ I wanted to take on my spiritual path, but desire? Is desire not a feeling that motivates us? If you drop the ‘ego’ as was being suggested, then where is my motivator? Where is the incentive to get off the couch?

So I watched and listened to various teachers, as well as students, struggle with this concept. Meetings and gatherings were also interesting as those in charge of directing the event would start by saying things such as, “Now everyone leave your ego outside the door – this is a spiritual place.” Now this was very interesting to me as it was so obvious to me that in order for these people to initiate such an undertaking and gather so many people together and then put themselves in charge of the event (the one you went to with any questions as they had the answers) then surely ego has to be in play with them. So now I am curious... Does ego also represent one’s self-worth image?

Now I am confused and I start to discuss this with others. What I hear is, dropping ego means coming from the heart. Ok, now that is bringing me some clarity. If this is the understanding by many, then this explains why as an Empath I was getting so many mixed impressions from these people. These spiritual people and teachers would ooze so much love and flowery greetings that you almost walked away wet. I used the term ooze because with some this loving expression did not flow as a natural state. They were trying so hard to hide their egos that they ‘oozed’ with an over-compensation of love. It was most interesting to me as well, that in many instances these people from which I would sense such an inconsistency, were the same ones that would be first in stating “they no longer come from the ego”. The need to announce or state to others that they no longer come from ego, tells me from a psychological perspective that this is not the case.

So where does this leave me … besides confused?

Through hours of inner reflection I understood that eliminating the ego altogether was not only impossible, but rather foolish as well. With having twelve years of practical experience with human psychology, I was aware that the ego was a part of our human nature and I just could not comprehend how trying to deny that aspect would make me more spiritual. I had also learned through this personal training that the ego or Ego Mind as I will refer to it, is very powerful at controlling the physical body. Yet, I also understood and had experienced this placement of coming from the heart. I began to experience more frequently coming from my ‘hearts desire’. For me, while growing up, I would hear this voice now and again that came from inside of me and not from within my head. I would explain to people that there was 'knowing something with the mind' and then there was something that would shift for me and I would 'know it within my heart'. These were two very different feelings and expressions for me. Once I knew something from within my heart, no matter how others viewed it, they could not shake that knowingness within me. On the other hand, with dialogue and demonstration, what I knew in my head was often subject to change.

I also wondered if ego was ‘self-worth’? I have come to understand and accept that it is not. However, it can have a major influence over how we view ourselves. 

So what is this thing we call Ego? There are many books written by experts on the psychology of this and I am not going to get into all of that. I want to approach this from a more spiritual perception. The understanding of the etheric bodies and the names and associations applied to them was what started me to question and go inside to seek clarity. The teachings show that the fourth level or heart chakra is associated with being the mental plane as well as the compassion center. There had to be some sort of cosmic joke here, to place the mind and the heart in the same plane of reality.

Once again, I watched and listened to others as they interacted with one another. I would go inside and ask for clarity and I would pay attention to what would transpire within me. More and more I would hear that voice within directing my decisions. Being someone who operated more from what I felt than from what I thought, it was not all that difficult for me to follow this voice. Then it happened. The universe presented me with the unbelievable gift of awareness.

My heart’s desire had pulled me to a place where I had to make the biggest leap of faith in my life. The decision was one that in the beginning caused much internal conflict for me and was not viewed by many as a wise decision. The inner struggle would evolve around such feelings as fear, guilt and shame. The mind would throw up all these reasons as to why this should not be done and from time to time, I would even agree with all the logic presented. After all, it was presented in such a convincing package. With time the yearning of my heart’s desire would pull strongly and again, I would know within my heart, what I really wanted and desired to do. Throughout this process, I experienced some very interesting phenomena.

With the emergence of my heart’s desire and this internal knowingness, I would be presented with the mind’s apparent logic again as to why this would not be a good idea. What I discovered during this time of struggle back and forth within myself was that when I took a look at one of these ‘reasons’ when it was presented to me through the ‘eyes’ of my heart’s desire, I realized that the ‘reason’ did not flourish in this space. There was no fear and there was no guilt when I held these ‘reasons’ within my heart. It was with this realization that I started to understand that the Ego Mind was not meant to be in charge of my life’s direction.

I took the leap of faith and totally changed the direction of my life. This led to some major shifts in awareness. I discovered first hand that the Ego Mind was indeed not in charge of my life’s path, but rather in charge of something else. I realized that in following my heart’s desire, that little voice within, or what I now understand to be my “Heart Mind”, that I am connected to my higher guidance, my Angelic/Human nature. The Ego Mind is very important and useful, as it heads up what I will metaphorically refer to as the Human Tool Box.

The Human Tool Box operates all aspects of the human biology and it is the Ego Mind that controls such feelings as fear, anger, anxiety, guilt, blame and shame. These feelings do not exist in the Heart Mind; they only exist in the Ego Mind. Once you can understand this, then you can start to make amazing shifts in your awareness. You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are about to do something you have never done before? This feeling is generated from the Ego Mind. I will not refer to this as a bad thing because it is the role of the Ego Mind to protect us from harm. The Ego Mind bases its reaction to thoughts or events from lifetimes of past experiences. However, it is up to us to take responsibility for the validation of these feelings in the ‘now moment’. When you take this feeling inside to the ‘Heart Mind’, you will see if there is indeed a need to reevaluate your choice, or do those feelings dissipate, or at least give you a sense that it does not fit in this place?

Once I had taken that leap of faith, I realized that the Ego Mind was important as a ‘tool’, but it had taken on the mantel of being in charge. I believe this is what the teachers may have been trying to relate when they talked about dropping the ego. I learned first hand that having an intellectual understanding is very different from having an experiential understanding. When a person has not experienced this ‘dropping of ego’, as they would refer to it, then how could they explain the concept?

The work does not end with having the shift in awareness take place. On the contrary, that is when the real work begins. The Ego Mind guides us through life based on the experiences we have had. The Ego Mind has learned to manipulate our biology to control and protect its domain. Since most of us are evolving from a vibrational rate that identified more with the energy of fear, anger and guilt (to name a few) that is what our Ego Minds have held onto. As the planetary vibrational rate is changing to a higher vibration, so is the ability to hear the inner voice coming from your heart center or Heart Mind.

The challenge now becomes that of training our Ego Minds to work in harmony with the Heart Mind. To start with, you have to learn how to tell them apart at the time you are making decisions. I have alluded to some of the feelings that will tell you that the ego is taking over the Heart Mind. The fear based thoughts and emotions, as well as all the emotions that are of a ‘heavier’ vibrational charge (jealousy, guilt, blame, anger … you get the picture), are indicators that the Ego is taking control. Also understand the intense cleverness of the Ego Mind to hold onto its power of control.

Phrases such as: “I can’t because …”, “ but I have no choice”, “I have responsibilities”, and “my husband/wife/children/parents/friends will never accept this”, are also statements that indicate that the Ego Mind is in charge. They will sound very logical and will divert you from your heart’s desire. The Heart Mind comes from the direction of the higher self and knows love and compassion and also has experience. It will tend to deal with your path as a spiritual being that is having a human experience. It holds no judgment as to good or bad and will guide you to have experiences set out from your higher Angelic self. The Ego Mind understands fear, anger and control.

I feel that our mission here at this time is to embrace not that we are just spiritual beings and to remove our Ego Mind, but to bring ourselves into balance integrating all the divine gifts that we are as humans … this includes the Ego Mind.

Training ourselves to be aware as to when the Ego Mind is in control and to then evaluate with the Heart Mind that information is the first step toward having them work together in balance. This does take effort and conscious responsibility for wanting to change your life. There are various methods for breaking down the concepts and self-images we hold within the Ego Mind. This does not happen overnight and for some people thinking differently can be physically painful. Remember the Ego Mind can and does control the physical body and when you try to break down these concepts, without the Ego Mind working in cooperation, there can be physical and emotional pain.

So how do we get it to cooperate? You get it to cooperate by embracing that it is a part of the wholeness that you are. Understand its importance to your survival here on this planet and then engage its help in undoing the very concepts it uses to control. Let me play out this little drama for you.

Your heart is pulling you to change jobs. You are no longer happy in the place you work and the stress level alone is causing you anxiety and health problems and you yearn for another job. But what? Your heart starts to remind you of a dream you once had, of that career you wanted to do, but things changed and you made other choices at that time, that you felt were in your best interest. Twenty years have gone by and the heart’s desire is pulling you again, reawakening those old dreams or perhaps a new one. When you think of this you feel a ‘lightness’ about you, you smile and your heart fills with joy. This is your Heart Mind talking to you. Then it happens. You decide to “go for it” and all the reasons you shouldn’t flood forward. “There is no time to take the training”, “I can’t give up the security of my benefits here”, “I can’t afford to give up this wage”. There are many very real, very logical reasons for why this must stay only a dream.

The reality here is the Ego Mind is stepping in and stating, “You cannot change the way things are… I am familiar with this life”. It is good that the ego steps in because sometimes we do act too quickly on a Heart Mind thought and we can make things difficult for ourselves during the pursuit of our heart’s desire. You see, to the Heart Mind change is only that - a change. Our attachment to the human and physical aspects of our life can make change difficult. Now, what if the Ego Mind now takes on its designated role as head of the human toolbox?

You can take the statements that come up to interfere with your heart’s desire and look at them to determine if there is a heart-felt reason for this statement or if it is only fear (or another heavy energy emotion). My experience is that the heart’s desire is still there. So the challenge is to reframe the objection from the Ego Mind and to state clearly, “I understand your concern and I still choose to follow this path. Show me how to achieve this.” In this statement you would include the objection. For instance direct the Ego Mind, “Show me how to organize my thinking so I make time to take the necessary training”.

The Ego Mind is extremely powerful and is by nature, structured to succeed at its task. That is why trying to eliminate your ego is impossible. It is designed to be part of the human package and it will fight to survive. It was also designed, however, to work in harmony with the Heart Mind. When utilized as a tool, the Ego Mind will work to find solutions to support your desired outcome, it will search endlessly for ways to succeed, and it will conquer any challenge.

We have reached a point in human evolution where it is now time to bring the Ego Mind and the Heart Mind back into balance, to have them work in harmony and cooperation. This is all part of bringing into wholeness our Angelic (Heart Mind) – Human (Ego Mind) Beingness. When you can achieve this cooperation there is absolutely no way that you cannot succeed at what you choose to do.

It is the Divine Plan and WE were designed to succeed at ‘whatever’ we choose to do … even if we choose to struggle and fail. I hope that this helps and I can recommend a book called “The Heartmath Solution” by Doc Childre and Howard Martin (ISBN 0-06-251606-x). (to order this book, new or used, click here) This book has practical exercises that can help you to experience the shift from Ego Mind to Heart Mind and then...  may you always pursue your heart’s desire .